You guys are literally the worst ever. Please, get out of her bed, and leave this place. You have a hotel room (also weird) and you can get internet there and just go.

I told you I cannot leave tonight. I do not want you here. You guys are gross and detestable. I know you’ve been together through a harrowing five whole months, and that’s fucking awesome but please. Be. Less. Lame. Stop Being Gross. Go away. 

Really, that’s all I want. GO AWAY. It’s not like she’s left the room more than once this whole semester.